What Does Success Really Mean to You? Redefining Success for Women Seeking Fulfillment & Balance

Have you ever paused, really paused to ask yourself what success means to you?

This is a question I often ask in my coaching sessions. And almost every time, I notice a familiar silence. A long pause. Sometimes even a deep sigh.

Because while we’re all doing, chasing, achieving… very few of us have actually stopped to define what we’re chasing.

The Silent Struggle Behind “Success”, defined by the 'expectation' of others and our own.

Many of the ambitious, high-achieving women I work with come to me with impressive titles, stable incomes, and long lists of accomplishments.

Yet, they tell me “I should be happy… but I’m not.”

They’ve ticked all the boxes that society associates with success: the job, the home, the lifestyle. But somewhere along the way, the meaning of success got blurred. It started to look more like a checklist of things to own and do, rather than a feeling.

So, I invite them into a powerful reflection. What does success really mean to you?

And right now, if you are reading this and feel that society's definition of success leaves something to be desired, I invite you to do the same.

Success isn’t a single word or milestone. It’s something you define, one piece at a time.

Redefining Success: Beyond the Job Title and Paycheck

By dictionary definition, success means a “favourable or desired outcome.” But the truth is that the “desired outcome” looks different for everyone. When researchers ask men and women what their definitions of success are, they get a whole range of answers, and those answers change over time.

For some, success is balance. Being able to end the workday without guilt and have dinner with their family.

For others, it’s freedom. The ability to choose work that aligns with their values and passions.

And for many, it’s impact, knowing their work is making a difference in someone’s life.

For many, it is abundance. A craving for things, brands, financial security that maybe they didnt have in childhood. Or maybe they are trying to keep up with a lifestyle they are used to.

Overall, research shows that women define success more in terms of life balance and relationships whereas men focus more on material success. Variations in definition can also depend on age, personality, and prior experience.

Over the years, I’ve learned that most people reach a point where they need to define success more holistically. Just the achievements, awards, titles, the big house, fancy car and branded things they own (that may be important), but it is not enough. It's about how fulfilled, connected, and grounded all of this makes them feel.

Questions to Help You Define Your Version of Success

So, If you’ve been chasing success but still feel unsatisfied, maybe it’s time to pause and realign. Ask yourself:

• What makes me feel happiest and most alive?

• What do I truly value: freedom, stability, creativity, connection, purpose, something else?

• What satisfies my core needs (like a sense of autonomy, relatedness, and competence)?

• What type of accomplishments feel the most worthwhile to me?

• When in my life did I feel a sense of success that felt good and authentic?

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  Next consider these different areas in your life. What would success look like in each of these areas? Remember, there are no wrong answers.

  • Emotional success – Feeling good, calm, confident, at peace.

  • Social success – Feeling connected, seen and supported.

  • Occupational success – Doing work that fulfills me.

  • Financial success – Feeling secure and independent. Being able to afford the things one needs.

  • Community success – thriving among friends, family and being part of something bigger than myself.

Research shows that these reflections often reveal that success isn’t one big milestone. Instead, it’s the small, meaningful moments in different areas of your life that align with who you truly are.

To keep exploring what success means to you, try the following simple exercises :

When you have a quiet moment, take out a notebook and try this:

🖊 Free-flow writing:

Write about what success means to you. Don’t overthink or edit. Just let your thoughts flow. You may be surprised at what surfaces when you silence the noise and listen to your inner voice.

🌱 Set your success criteria:

Take a moment to think through your dealbreakers, the things that you need in life to feel successful. A word of caution, when we think of success, we often focus on the things we want and not the things we need. For example, we might want a big house and a nice car and it is great to aspire to that. But we don’t need them and can feel successful and happy even without them.

So think about what you need (not just what you want) to feel successful.

For example:

I need time with the people I love.

I need to feel respected in my work.

I need to make a meaningful contribution.

I need to have moments of rest and joy.

These are your non-negotiables, your personal definition of success.

In the End…

Success is deeply personal. It evolves with you. What felt like success in your 20s may not feel the same in your 40s, and that’s okay.

When you take the time to define what success truly means to you, you stop chasing someone else’s version and start living your own. It gives you clarity to work towards something meaningful.

So, pause today. Ask yourself, What does success really mean to me?

Because the moment you define it on your own terms, you’ll start moving toward a life that feels not just successful… but fulfilling, balanced, and authentically yours.

✨ If this reflection resonated with you, share it with another woman who’s chasing success and remind her that it’s okay to redefine what it means.