Have you ever felt stuck? Like you just can't seem to get ahead no matter how hard you try? It could be a lack of belief in yourself holding you back. When you believe in yourself it can help you to achieve your goals and manifest your dreams. On the flip side, a lack of self belief means you are less likely to act, try or push yourself towards what you want. When you don’t believe in yourself, you tend to reduce the effort, have anxiety from fear of failure and engage in negative self talk thereby sabotaging yourself.
Imagine you have a car but you forgot the key. No matter how good the engine is without the key it is not going anywhere. That's what it's like when you do not believe in yourself. You might have the skills and drive, but doubt holds you back. Self-belief is like the key to starting your engine. You can't achieve anything without believing you can. Believing that you are capable is key to making things happen.
So how do you build this belief in yourself?
Research shows that Self-belief comes from a mix of things such as:
Self Worth - feeling worthy and knowing that you have value just as you are.
Self Confidence – where you feel positive about your skills, abilities & judgement and the decisions you make.
Self Trust – having faith in yourself.
Autonomy - feeling free to choose & direct your own goals and behaviours.
Environmental mastery – is the belief that your actions and efforts will make a difference.
It is important to understand if you struggle in one of these areas or more or maybe all of them. Once you understand where you struggle the most, it will become easier to know where you need to make a shift in your beliefs and attitudes to boost your self belief.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself to know in which area you struggle the most:
• Do you feel like you deserve good things?
• Do you value yourself as a human being?
• Do you feel good about your skills and abilities & personal qualities?
• Can you rely on yourself? Do you keep promises that you make to yourself?
• Do you feel free to do what you want to do? Do you feel you have control over your life?
• When you take action, do you believe your efforts will pay off?
If you answered ‘NO’ or leaning towards ‘NO’ to any of these questions, you will know. the areas where you do not fully believe in yourself. But that's okay! Reflect on what areas you need to make a shift to boost your self belief.
Here are some science based tips that may help to start believing in yourself:
• Challenge your self talk. That voice or inner critic in your head that tells you that you can't do something? Talk back to it! Remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments. Reframe the negative self talk. By saying positive things to yourself you can start to rewrite our internal scripts.
• Be your own cheerleader. Instead of putting yourself down for what you can’t do, appreciate what you can do. Its ok not to know something. You can always learnwhat you don’t know (if it is relevant to you). Act like your biggest supporter, not your worst enemy.
• Keep your promises. If you say you're going to do something, do it! Build habits and be consistent where it matters. This builds trust in yourself, which is key to believing you can achieve your goals.
• Be honest with yourself. Don't ignore your feelings or needs. Get in touch with what truly matters to you and live your life accordingly.
• Do what you believe is right. Be true to yourself and your values. Trust your instincts, because when you do what feels right to you, you are more likely to believe in yourself.
• Know your worth. You are valuable and deserving of happiness, just like anyone else. Get clear on who you are and what you want or don’t want in life. Boosting your self awareness will help you to trust yourself and make decisions that feel right for you.
Self belief is not just about self love and pursuing your goals. It is about reflecting on what is affecting your self belief so you can slowly work on believing in yourself. Believing in yourself is a journey, not a destination. Hopefully, the above tips can help you get started.
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